I was born to believe that gifted kids were born gifted, and that there was a border between me and them.

Throughout my years I’ve been compared from one gifted kid to another in every single hobby, field or lesson I’ve participated in.

As a teen I’ve been led to believe that if you aren’t one of them, you can’t possibly become one of them.

But the fact I’ve learnt is that anything is possible.

Now at the age of 14, I’ve grown into a much more successful person compared to those gifted kids, and I have the proof to back up the “on paper brains.”

This article will show why we shouldn’t limit ourselves to self diagnosed identities, and why they’re the ones holding you back.

 

Introduction

Personally, I’ve been taught and shown consistently that I lack the ability to accomplish certain things, and that has been a consistent thing throughout my life.

In mathematics, or in mandarin, I have been a subject of remedials and lectures all through my 14 years. 

Unlike people who just seem to get it, I’ve always had trouble comprehending complicated logical tests and new ideas.

But in the past few years I’ve been able to overcome all of these problems with just 2 words;

Hard work.

As corny as it may sound, there’s a reason why hard work is so widely appraised everywhere. It’s because it works.

But the magic isn’t purely in hard work, but it’s located in something I consider much more important;

Identities.

Try and think about this, when was the last time you went “I’m dumb,” or “I’m fat,” or “I’m not a nice person.”

Identities play a big role in how we act, how we treat others, and even how we look at ourselves.

The Power Of Identity

There’s a psychological term which I thought was just a bunch of affirmation nonsense, but I realize now that it’s true.

The Law Of Attraction states that we receive what we want to receive.

When it comes to identities, The Law Of Attraction actually plays a very big role in what we see.

If we label ourselves as fat, we will look at the parts of our body that prove to be fat or look un-fit. 

Living with this rule in mind is like opening your third eye, and finally realizing why you’ve never been able to succeed.

No matter how hard you practice in one field, you will never reach your goal if your brain is whispering that you aren’t good enough.

But luckily for us, The Law Of Attraction works for both sides of the coin.

If you start to believe in positive identities for yourself, like “I am a nice person,” or “I am a hard worker,” or “I am a religious person,” you will start to see a shift in the way you act and stay disciplined.

And I’ve seen this happen in real time.

By swearing to this law, I’ve seen myself go from someone who couldn’t step onto a stage to a person who absolutely loves being on the stage.

I realize now that I’ve spent years ineffectively using my time to work and study in doubt, and that my identity was the one thing blocking me from my potential.

Though identities can make you a better person in front of people, values can make you become a better person for yourself.

What Actually Shapes “You”

According to organizational psychologist Adam Grant, values aren’t a set of opinions which you say you believe, but a set of opinions that you live by.

We should stop positioning ourselves to identities like being smart, being rich, or being dumb, but rather we should position ourselves with values like “I love learning new things,” or “I always try to grow.”

With values, it’s not something clean that needs to look presentable, but it’s something we live by without realizing. 

We are raised with a pre-made set of values, from friends and family.

This is the reason why in certain circles, you might feel like people are warmer than in other circles.

But similarly to identities, values are re-adjustable as we go on throughout life.

Think about it like this, when identities point you into a single way, values act like a compass.

Compasses don’t point you into one exact location, but rather they give you directions towards the right goal.

Unknowingly, values are what lead us into paths and journeys throughout life, and they’re what separate “good” people with “bad” people.

A good set of values should be one that helps you stay authentic to yourselves, while still keeping a good relationship with other people.

And with values, you keep an open mind to new ways, ideas, and opinions that can reshape your entire identity.

Together, identities and values keep us in balance, and by properly mixing them both, we have a clear path to reshape our “destiny.”

Conclusion

After reflecting, I realize now that I am who I am not because of pure grit, but rather because of a combination of hard work, and the correct utilization of identity and values.

Hard work, identities, and values work together hand in hand, and you can’t succeed without one or another.

With hard work, you are told to actually put in the work to back up your beliefs and goals, like pressing the gas pedal in a car.

With identity, you give yourself a goal to live up to, a dream to achieve, like a car’s engine, deciding how far you can actually go.

And with values, you give yourself a bar you need to stay above, and a set of rules to follow, like a car’s steering wheel.

Without one of the three, the car wouldn’t be able to drive, and there would be no way of moving forward. You don’t need to be born gifted, or to suddenly become gifted. All you need is the belief that you can try hard enough to become gifted.

With the right amount of work and belief, anything is possible, and no one can tell you otherwise.